baby, what's in that satchel?

no, sheep i don't feel guilty. but i do wonder what happened to him !! especially when i'm eating at hungry jack's.

me: burgers make me think of that tourist
mum: huh?
me: the carls jr. one. nothing in the papers about suicide in hotel room or anything
mum: oh. maybe his body's not been discovered yet because it's still floating off to sea somewhere
me: ... i guess that's the same positive outlook he had
mum: you can always count on me, my darling.

in other news...
"hello is mary there?"
"no. mary is not here. you've got the wrong number"

2 minutes later ...
"hello? mary?"
"no. there is no mary here. you've got the wrong number"

5 minutes after that ...
"hello? may i please speak to mary?"
"no. really you may not. because she probably gave you the wrong phone number"
*silence* "what number is this?"
"what number did you dial?"
"[recites number]"
"that's not mary's number. really."

today, after 19 hours have passed
"hello? mary?"
"for the fourth, and hopefully last time, i swear there is NO. MARY. HERE."

dear crazy old bat who keeps calling mum's phone,
just give up. mary hates you so she gave you a phony number. deal with it, move on.