Wednesday, March 28, 2007

two bits of news:

1. besides lacking in TVmobile (thank ye gods), and having massive windshields, and lacking in the periscope thing from which you can stare down at the busdriver's balding pate, the new swanky sbs buses have another new feature. security cameras!. that's right. a nice ominous-looking half-orb set into the ceiling at the front of the bus saying "don't you dare misbehave you pathetic little minions ... big brother is watching you ..."

i can just imagine the official line endorsing these cameras: security cameras add a new level of security to commuters on our public buses. between 20XX and 20XY, there were XXX such cases of women having their modesty outraged, or violence on the bus, and the offenders were not prosecuted because nobody was willing to step forward. etcetc.

oh deary me. where will all those poor secondary school couples make out now?

2. there has been an upgrade in the toilet paper on our floor, from 1-ply to 2. a 100% increase in ply! women on the 31st floor are rejoicing.

using 1-ply feels like you're wiping your bum with sandpaper. it's very uncomfortable and you don't really feel clean after. with this toilet paper upgrade, i think morale on our floor will be higher. bums will be less irritated, which makes sitting down more comfortable, which leads to a happier day at work, which should (theoretically) lead to better productivity!

it's like a case of a butterfly flapping its wings in mongolia causing a typhoon in guadalupe. or something like that.

No comments: