baby, what's in that satchel?

disclaimer: i guess you could classify the following post as potentially offensive. or maybe that's just if you're hyper-sensitive! anyway, i think a disclaimer is best.

last week on tv mobile, there was this national education advert playing, telling morning commuters what the recipe for a singaporean was.

something like a cup of compassion, a scoop of warmth, a dollop of lurf and a whole lotta diversity. you shake them all together and out pops a singaporean. between this and that bloody just for laughs gag show, it's really enough to make a girl want to hurl herself out of a moving bus. and anyway, what about the half-cup not-my-problem, mixed with half-cup of what's-your-problem? and the generous fistfuls of kiasu-ness? is this ad kitsch or what?! at least they used the term "diversity" instead of "multiculturalism".

"multicultural" is such a wanky word.

anyhoo, i'm going to harp on this diversity thing for a bit, so indulge me!

because hor, diverse is what singapore truly is! all these different races/religions/cultures co-existing on one tiny island blahblahblah. but "diverse" - to me - has very positive connotations, and this i feel glosses over the fact that thinly-veiled and ingrained racism still exists. yes! that taboohushhush R-word!

it's not really a kkk lynch-mob thing, really it's more like a "malay/indian people are so dirty/smelly" kind of thing that old women tell their grandchildren, simply because they have darker skin. or how some people think chinese people smell of pork, implication being that we are unclean i suppose. someone verify this? but then again i suppose it can't be helped because bak chor mee is so tasty =P

i think this is beginning to sound nit-picky, but i think it's very simple and just has to be said. anybody who has bad personal hygiene will smell bad.

just take public transport! on the 196 in the morning there's sometimes a young chinese security guard who smells spectacularly funky, and his hair is so glossy i wouldn't be surprised if it's literally slicked down with spit. on a larger scale, take the train in the evenings, and you will have the fresh roast aroma of the white-collar crew who've been stewing in recycled office air all day. they are fantastically pungent too.

i could go on, but i won't.

my point is, being pheremonious isn't confined to a particular ethnic group, it affects people from all walks of life* as long as they neglect their deodorizers, soap, shower gel, eau de toilette and scented mists. it seems a really small thing but i think it says quite a lot about racial harmony.

welcome to multicultural and diverse singapore: where everybody thinks everybody else stinks! literally!

* a few years ago, i remember hearing/seeing this phrase literally everywhere. it doesn't seem to popular now. singapore mass media is a big fan of catch-phrases such as these.

edit : i just saw that stupid ad again today, and i don't know how i could have missed this out! but anyway it's a whole bunch of animated kacang puteh and at the very end it says "singapore, a mixture of kacang puteh nuts. a mixture of hearts!"