baby, what's in that satchel?

today i was told to switch the stove off, which i did. and then i managed to set a nearby paper towel on fire. this is the 3rd time that i've set something in the kitchen on fire, so there were no theatrics or screaming, mum just beat the fire out with a spatula then threated to brain me with it (it being the aforementioned spatula).

i don't know why this happens! i didn't even touch the paper towel! but i think when i leaned forward it drifted a little onto the flame. anyway whatever it is, i would just like to state for the record that i'm not really inept in the kitchen although my family probably won't even trust me to switch a kettle off without blowing up the house. i wish i'd taken a picture!