two bits of news:

1. besides lacking in TVmobile (thank ye gods), and having massive windshields, and lacking in the periscope thing from which you can stare down at the busdriver's balding pate, the new swanky sbs buses have another new feature. security cameras!. that's right. a nice ominous-looking half-orb set into the ceiling at the front of the bus saying "don't you dare misbehave you pathetic little minions ... big brother is watching you ..."

i can just imagine the official line endorsing these cameras: security cameras add a new level of security to commuters on our public buses. between 20XX and 20XY, there were XXX such cases of women having their modesty outraged, or violence on the bus, and the offenders were not prosecuted because nobody was willing to step forward. etcetc.

oh deary me. where will all those poor secondary school couples make out now?

2. there has been an upgrade in the toilet paper on our floor, from 1-ply to 2. a 100% increase in ply! women on the 31st floor are rejoicing.

using 1-ply feels like you're wiping your bum with sandpaper. it's very uncomfortable and you don't really feel clean after. with this toilet paper upgrade, i think morale on our floor will be higher. bums will be less irritated, which makes sitting down more comfortable, which leads to a happier day at work, which should (theoretically) lead to better productivity!

it's like a case of a butterfly flapping its wings in mongolia causing a typhoon in guadalupe. or something like that.

two bits of news:

1. besides lacking in TVmobile (thank ye gods), and having massive windshields, and lacking in the periscope thing from which you can stare down at the busdriver's balding pate, the new swanky sbs buses have another new feature. security cameras!. that's right. a nice ominous-looking half-orb set into the ceiling at the front of the bus saying "don't you dare misbehave you pathetic little minions ... big brother is watching you ..."

i can just imagine the official line endorsing these cameras: security cameras add a new level of security to commuters on our public buses. between 20XX and 20XY, there were XXX such cases of women having their modesty outraged, or violence on the bus, and the offenders were not prosecuted because nobody was willing to step forward. etcetc.

oh deary me. where will all those poor secondary school couples make out now?

2. there has been an upgrade in the toilet paper on our floor, from 1-ply to 2. a 100% increase in ply! women on the 31st floor are rejoicing.

using 1-ply feels like you're wiping your bum with sandpaper. it's very uncomfortable and you don't really feel clean after. with this toilet paper upgrade, i think morale on our floor will be higher. bums will be less irritated, which makes sitting down more comfortable, which leads to a happier day at work, which should (theoretically) lead to better productivity!

it's like a case of a butterfly flapping its wings in mongolia causing a typhoon in guadalupe. or something like that.

i've been putting my 2 megapixel cameraphone/phonecamera to good use since coming to singapore. i share with you!


imagine joining their loyalty program[link]! you'd be forced to sing a capella for your discounts


if you don't get it, think of it this way ..
"auntie ah! whats your favourite kah-rer ah?"
"purpur lor !!"

and finally ...

i don't even know how to begin to explain this one. wikipedia it! but when i told stoo about it, he replied "if it cost $69 it would be gold!"

disclaimer: i guess you could classify the following post as potentially offensive. or maybe that's just if you're hyper-sensitive! anyway, i think a disclaimer is best.

last week on tv mobile, there was this national education advert playing, telling morning commuters what the recipe for a singaporean was.

something like a cup of compassion, a scoop of warmth, a dollop of lurf and a whole lotta diversity. you shake them all together and out pops a singaporean. between this and that bloody just for laughs gag show, it's really enough to make a girl want to hurl herself out of a moving bus. and anyway, what about the half-cup not-my-problem, mixed with half-cup of what's-your-problem? and the generous fistfuls of kiasu-ness? is this ad kitsch or what?! at least they used the term "diversity" instead of "multiculturalism".

"multicultural" is such a wanky word.

anyhoo, i'm going to harp on this diversity thing for a bit, so indulge me!

because hor, diverse is what singapore truly is! all these different races/religions/cultures co-existing on one tiny island blahblahblah. but "diverse" - to me - has very positive connotations, and this i feel glosses over the fact that thinly-veiled and ingrained racism still exists. yes! that taboohushhush R-word!

it's not really a kkk lynch-mob thing, really it's more like a "malay/indian people are so dirty/smelly" kind of thing that old women tell their grandchildren, simply because they have darker skin. or how some people think chinese people smell of pork, implication being that we are unclean i suppose. someone verify this? but then again i suppose it can't be helped because bak chor mee is so tasty =P

i think this is beginning to sound nit-picky, but i think it's very simple and just has to be said. anybody who has bad personal hygiene will smell bad.

just take public transport! on the 196 in the morning there's sometimes a young chinese security guard who smells spectacularly funky, and his hair is so glossy i wouldn't be surprised if it's literally slicked down with spit. on a larger scale, take the train in the evenings, and you will have the fresh roast aroma of the white-collar crew who've been stewing in recycled office air all day. they are fantastically pungent too.

i could go on, but i won't.

my point is, being pheremonious isn't confined to a particular ethnic group, it affects people from all walks of life* as long as they neglect their deodorizers, soap, shower gel, eau de toilette and scented mists. it seems a really small thing but i think it says quite a lot about racial harmony.

welcome to multicultural and diverse singapore: where everybody thinks everybody else stinks! literally!

* a few years ago, i remember hearing/seeing this phrase literally everywhere. it doesn't seem to popular now. singapore mass media is a big fan of catch-phrases such as these.

edit : i just saw that stupid ad again today, and i don't know how i could have missed this out! but anyway it's a whole bunch of animated kacang puteh and at the very end it says "singapore, a mixture of kacang puteh nuts. a mixture of hearts!"

ever since derelyn told me about this fish-shaped mp3 player from toshiba i reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally want one! look how cute it is! i think it looks more like a seal but whatever. flippers! so cute! and it's got a usb thingy in his bum! she swears that 8days (hurhur, she reads 8days) said that it's retailing at "all leading distributors" but so far best and challenger have been totally useless.

does anybody know where to fiiiind it?

today's new paper* had this article about 80s cartoons being made into movies, and this chick called maybelline goh said "i was a fan of TMNT (teenage mutant ninja turtles) ... but i've grown out of it, and i doubt any other girls my age group are interested" .. fair enough maybelline but speak for yourself! actually i'm really looking forward to the new turtles movie!!

and then some other dork reckoned the movie looked too "dark". but then the original comic was dark and violent anyway! nothing at all like the super cheesy-fun campfest that the cartoon was. so personally i reckon the movie looks like a good hybrid. the rant or rave review will be posted over the weekend!

* yes yes for shame, i read the trashy new paper.sue me. it's juicy!

mixed signals is seeing a

"speed like lightning, crash like thunder"

decal on a car that was going too fast for me to have taken a picture of it

i have a feeling it was only a superficially riced-up car as it was decal-ed to high heaven, and it was going fast but not top gear fast by any length of imagination. anyway correct me if i'm wrong but isn't the point of driving so you get from point A to point B without having your car hug a tree or kiss a ditch?

then again who am i, a non-petrolhead whose car is shamefully un-zhng-ed to judge the logic of ricky "initial d" tan?

tokyo ska paradise orchestra was soooo goooooood. the people sitting around us were major spoilsports and girl behind me was grumpy because i was "blocking her view". but in the end girlie triumphed and most people got off their boring fat arses and started dancing.

yaaaay. hyper hyper hiiigh.

dear ampulets, i hope you had fun too!!

today i engaged in a battle of wills with a wman on the bus. at first i thought she was pregnant, and that's why she was sitting in the middle of the seat (meant for 2), and not allowing anybody else to share.

then i realized she was just a weird fat woman* who was taking photos of herself on the bus during rush hour. so anyhoo i plonked my butt down on the seat with half my arse hanging off the edge.

and then the crazy woman started fiddling around with the contents of her bag and was not-so-subtly elbowing me. so i got my psp out and started elbowing her back. all this happened between taonan school and kallang so it was about 15 minutes at least. but she finally grudgingly relented! YAY! huzzah for girlies.

in other news, i'm designing a factory at work. it might not sound exciting but i'm doing my best to make it a cute one! also, if it gets built it will be my first ever building. ever! so fingers toes and eyes crossed.

* she wasn't pregnant because her stomach had folds. plus she was way too jubbly.

it's my first day of work and i'm on the bus then i get a message that says "hi lynette, i'm not feeling well today. come in after lunch k? later!"

so either my boss is chucking a great aussie sickie or he's really ill and woke up at 8.30 to tell me so. either way i'm home blogging about it now. and maybe i will grab some lunch with me maw before heading out again.

in other news, maw's kindly aided my fitness regime by purchasing a fitball and some weights! WOOT! grandmama is greatly amused by this. although she worried that "we are too heavy and might burst the ball" and then she chuckled. insulting! but it's ok. we shall take all snide remarks in our stride. that's really all for now. cousin stoo! i have your graduation present. mr moongchi, i haven't yet purchased yours.

another strange offering from the rahmens.

watch the other 3 volumes on youtube!
here, here and here.

thums up!

today i was told to switch the stove off, which i did. and then i managed to set a nearby paper towel on fire. this is the 3rd time that i've set something in the kitchen on fire, so there were no theatrics or screaming, mum just beat the fire out with a spatula then threated to brain me with it (it being the aforementioned spatula).

i don't know why this happens! i didn't even touch the paper towel! but i think when i leaned forward it drifted a little onto the flame. anyway whatever it is, i would just like to state for the record that i'm not really inept in the kitchen although my family probably won't even trust me to switch a kettle off without blowing up the house. i wish i'd taken a picture!

bimbotic post ahead .. ye have been warned

i am chuffed! enough to blog about it! chuffed because i found two pairs of mother's old bruno magli* shoes in the garage and realizing they fit you perfectly! huzzah for mothers with expensive taste! now these are vintage bruno magli shoes because they were made/purchased when i was a wee tot. or perhaps even before i was an embryo. they need to be re-soled and re-heeled but that's ok. contented bug!


i took this with my new camera phone. the quality is a little off i reckon, but good enough for our purposes today. look! i especially love the red pair. they're a bit scuffed though. and i'm not quite sure how to clean them up properly aside from the "gently wiping with a damp cloth" technique.

and in case you don't quite get how happy i am because you are a boy and are not into women's shoes, then auntie pratma puts it this way:

"it's like finding a perfectly restored MG roadster in my garage!"

yeah ok whatever. purdy shoooooes...

* wiki entry here

as of tomorrow, or maybe my singapore trip, i will embark on my samurai bunny project. the ones i've had on the right were kind of experiments. but now it will be my artistic endeavour!!

as kuniyoshi's artistic attention was held for most of his life by the chushingura (forty-seven ronin theme), mine seems to be with turning his classic prints into bunnies. they are bushido bunnies even. heehee ..

i'm not trying to compare myself to some super old and dead yet ultra-talented print-master here, and pretty sure there's more than one person out there who thinks i'm bastardising his work, but that's not the intention i assure you. this is just something that started as a whimsical idea when i started this blog, that just happened to grow and grow into something that i want to turn into my first proper artistic endeavour!

bunnies are cute.