baby, what's in that satchel?

whoever said "love thy neighbour" obviously didn't have my neighbours, or he wouldn't have said it.

... ok fine so it was Jesus .. and his neighbours kinda crucified him. but that is completely beside the point.

the point is, that my neighbours (with the exception of the nice lady who lives on the left of us) are fuckwits. first of all there's the one right next door, mahesh, whom you might remember him from the fence blowing over due to damaging squalls episode. fucking scammer. then there's the ones two doors down who have a cute dog they don't want, that stayed over at ours for a night because she ran away and nobody could be arsed looking for her, that we wanted to keep but returned 'coz we thought were doing them a favour but it turns out were returning to hell*.

and then there's the psychotic bloody banshee that lives across the road, who lives in probably the ugliest house on our street** and who rattled her chains and wailed and hammered on our windows at 2am on the night before folio was due, and scared the bejeezus out of us. by us i mean my mum and me, because all i did was hide behind my mummy like a big girl's blouse while my mummy hid behind my dad like a slightly smaller girl's blouse, while he told the crazy to fuck off.

i know variety is the spice of life and all, and that it'd be terribly boring if we lived in 1984, but i think this is pushing it a little. i hope at least one person at our party tomorrow gets drunk enough to yak all over mahesh's lawn. or cause a kerfuffle across the road so they can see how it feels like to be the harrassee for once. jerks.

* ok maybe hell is a bit of an exagerration but they really didn't seem to want her.

** stoo's mum swears it's a brothel because of the lacy pink curtains.