heya! back from christmas kerfuffle spent mostly with bboj, noelley and kah how, who very generously let us eat his food and loot his disneyland stash (i got pirate sticky tape)!

mm. food. also, candy bra!



some of us are proud to wear one.



some of us are a little bewildered



and some of us refuse to be humiliated in public, and so have to be photoshopped into their edible undies.

go my dodgy photography! i don't know why i can't take pictures that aren't blurry. or maybe it's all my camera's fault.

because nick is mean and horrible, he did this



but it's pretty funny even i have to admit =P so here it is. merry christmas!!

ok so not many updates lately..mostly 'coz i've been negligent. left my camera at ben's place, couldn't be arsed getting it. phone got stolen so pics on there are gone. also, i went for a haircut (yes cally i know my fringe was long) so i'm broke as hell. therefore, i am back at ben's house using his internet and eating free food (our house is really quite bare. old people, it seems, don't snack).

anyhoo, this haircut. if you're privvy to my secret ah lian taste in clothes etc, you'll know that for the longest time i've wanted to look like a china doll. yes, i have high aims in life. since it's almost christmas, and i've done all my shopping, i decided to get a haircut and i told the lady "make me look like a doll". so she did. and this is the result!



i took SOOOO many photos and they all turned out really bad mostly because i'm terrible at looking straight at the camera and posing all cutesy/seductively/pensively/whateverly in that narcissistic friendster way. so i found that if i stared intensely at the camera, game face on, it was easier to take a decent photo. at least one where my head's not chopped off.

comin' atcha like cleopatra!

yesterday i was so peeved about the whole mobile phone thing that i clean forgot to tell you all about this! bboj very kindly agreed to take me to the star wars exhibition at the science centre yesterday, and it was lots of fun (read: he was strong-armed and bugged continuously for a week after mark told me about it)! for those of you not in the loop, the singapore science centre is home (temporarily) to the props, costumes and artwork used in all 6 star wars movies! and it's a reeeally really good exhibition. there's even a jedi gym where i proved that the force is indeed strong in me and totally kicked bboj's patootie at jedi mind games. bwahahahaha. if you're in singapore, i'd strongly suggest you go. especially if, like us, you haven't been to the science centre since you were in pigtails and/or tiny shorts (unless you went to a chinese school in which case that really wasn't too long ago was it). it's really different now! all speccy and generally not shit.

no pictures or videos or food/beverages were allowed in the exhibition space, but i did manage to sneak this one photo .. well actually bboj took it. but look! i am MUCH taller than a jawa. which is fantastic.



usually when you are practically 5 ft nothing, you're not really taller than anything except smurfs and very small children.

oh. and shopping with noelle today was great fun! it was our first proper girlies day out and it was fantastic! this was marred only by the fact that when we were taking a well-deserved break at the end of the day when she says "ooh! look at that!" and when i turned around, the most awful sight presented itself to me. this woman was squatting on the other side of the window, with her love handles spilling over her jeans, all squished up against the glass pane. it was ... truly awful to say the least. bitch. if you ever do that to me again, i will keeel you !!

also, today on the train they were making their usual announcement about how if you see any suspicious articles left unattended please do report it because it could be a bomb. and then this guy stood up from his seat, and lo and behold ... A BOMB!!



literally. i know this picture's really fuzzy but it's really hard to take a good clear focussed photo of some grotty child's diaper left on the train seat for all and sundry to look at and appreciate without a) laughing and b) getting funny looks. and who says singaporeans are inconsiderate bastards! look at how people are leaving wonderful little gifts for complete strangers.

i'm actually considering submitting this photo to the unique2me competition, where we send in photos what we feel singapore means to us.

soooo my phone's been nicked and i hae no phone =( also no contacts. no nothing. the 2 funny pics i took and was gonna upload to this blog for your viewing pleasure? gone =( when i get my new phone and re-visit the places i took them, then i'll upload.

how did this happen? i was careless, and left it on the table at the net cafe (next to my computer) and the jerk next to me picked it up and left. and because i didn't realize i'd left it there, i didn't realize he was pissing off so quickly 'coz he'd taken it.

dear karma, if you exist, please give that guy a swift kick in the nuts with steel-toed boots. thanks muchly.

in the meantime, anybody who wants to contact me can do so through bboj. and if also, please send me your phone numbers! and also, if anyone's got a cheapish nokia to sell, please let me know. preferably with camera and bluetooth (actually i have my eye on the nokia 7600, which is old. but is kinda cute. and i've wanted once since it was released ... like when dinosaurs roamed the earth)

so anyhoo, the address to send stuff to, in case you haven't got it is shhhinobi@gmail.com

i repeat, shhhinobi@gmail.com

'til then, i am disconnected from technology and the modern world as we know it! ANONIMITY! WOW!!

happy birthday my weeeeeeeird sister! i imagine you must be kinda trashed now hehe .. don't fall into the swimming pool!!

it is also aged auntie's birthday, but she does not read this blog. so just letting you guys know is all.

*does an interpretive dance to show how happy i am that it's your birthdays*

ooh! here's a photo i forgot to share in my previous post. reminds me of how ampulets said katongites are so refined!! but really, that's not true. you are only truly refined if you live in POSHGROVE CONDOMINIUMS (foreigners eligible)!!



aged auntie: LOOK! as if they need to be told they're living in ridiculously expensive apartments..
me: ya. as opposed to the rest of us living in crapville terrace hdb flat.

...

on a completely different note, i was looking through bboj's dvd library and unearthed this gem: SIDEWAYS! nominated for 5 academy awards and winner of 2 golden globes. ooh! classy flick. what's it about, i wonder?

*ahem*

"Strides you this (Borrow Ji YaMa raisies dresss up) is a lamentable defeat person, is dreaming remote dream of writer's which should not be reached.
In the suffering that he does not still have through divorces shake off out, and is seeing that old girl friend Jack's (thomas mounts Qiu Qishi at the big lake) soon livingly treads the grave into love. Strideeing you this the pair of grape wine rather possess research, and is living before the wedding ceremony of Jack, he resolves to bring the old friend in company force to travel, and leavees to California grape wine manufacture base, and borrows wine seing free the mood."

oh china dvds, how we love thee.

yes there have been few updates of late, but that doesnt' mean nothing's going on! bboj was hospitalized with pneunomia that's all. so i've been hanging out at hotel gleneagles with him, eating the food they bring him and watching movies on hbo. yes .. gleneagles offers hbo and espn, as well as indo and m'sian tv channels! so fancy pants.

anyhoo, enough about hospitals of the rich and sometimes famous .. i have photos to share!!

first up *drum roll* a stencil in sunny singapore! there is hope for this nation yet.




and then you see things like



and you wonder "what were these people thinking?!" .. who is tch ?! what does he do ?!?! why is there a learning centre named after him ?!??! why does this not make any sense ?!?!?!?!?!

but if there's one thing i've come to accept is that singaporeans are suckers. they'd have to be for things people selling all kinds of crap to survive. need a specific example? let me present to you the number 1 range of useless things that people will flog to ultra-kiasu parents ..



ERGONOMIC ESSENTIALS!! checkout that kid's drawing board! it's fancier than mine!! and check out his chair!! and those garish colours ... but wait! that's not all. a drafting desk and a fancy pants chair? those merely scratch the surface of ergonomic essentials. this place also sells


how can the doting singaporean parent refuse when their kids demand to go to school looking like that happy naked boy and his schoolbag+lumbar support? or when their kids insist on sleeping on a bed with a unique womb-like shape? i know i couldn't possibly look at those bright shining eyes full of the desire for good posture and refuse.

oh. and before i leave you for an afternoon of boggle fun, here's a final present!



this time you definitely know this guy's thinking "nah beh ah .. seng li si bei pai .."*

* translation: oh dear. business is terrible.

there was this "article" in the new paper today about singaporean bloggers blogging about mundane things, and engaging in slagging matches with each other blahblahblah, while bloggers overseas talk about "dollars & sense". nice one new paper. hurhur. sense...cents...you all very crever.

far be it from me to judge *koff* but singapore is packed full of weird goings-on, that there must be more to their lives than in-depth discussion of some potential starlet's decolletage (real or not?! - please discuss).

for example, on the bus the other day, we went past a truck declaring itself to be the property of AMEROIDS LOGISTICS. WHAT?! a company has named itself after a painful and embarrassing ailment? unfortunately this roving eye didn't have her camera on her that day. however, i did spot a company with a far more appropriate name:



just imagine their interviews .. "can you PACKAGE ?! are you ready to BE A MAN ?!?! ROAAAARR !!" [insert chest-thumping here]