meant to post this ages ago, but i kept forgetting. let's go back to a thursday or two ago, when we went to the llama bar and saw this guy with white baggy pants with a white long-sleeved button-up shirt with the collar turned up. that's when we figured we had to have some sort of secret hand-sign to signal the arrival of a cool mofo or a "metrosexual".

that's when we came up with this:



the new Metrosexual sign has its roots in a common anime expression (image on the left). you make it by sticking your index, middle and ring fingers upside down and placing them by the side of your face (image on the right).

the result is like a capital M



we think it's really quite clever.

and as a complete non-sequitur,

"but you know what truth is?
it's that little baby you're holding
and it's that man you fought wtih this morning...
the same one you are gonna make love to tonight...
that's truth! that's love!"

so it's really blurry. but unless you're blind as a nanna with no eyes, you should still be able to read this post.

nicked from derelyn's blog, choose which character of the endless you are !! this is if you read sandman graphic novels by neil gaiman (google him!)


Which Member of the Endless Are You?

i am delirium. but i used to be delight. sooooo i used to be happy now i'm just loopy. loopy loopy loooooo ..

didn't think i'd be anything groovy like dream, or anything spunky like death (yes, death is spunky). or anything creepy like destiny.

doopdeedoo. i'm going to wait for my hair to dry now.

happy birthday lynne! in honour of you, i post one of your stranger quotes up for the www to read!

lynne, for those of you who aren't in the know, is my youngest sister. in 1992, we found her in a rubbish tip and mistook her for some sort of abandoned feral animal. but after mummy washed her and her hair/fur was all matted, we realized she was actually a hairy monkey child. however, if properly waxed and/or shaven, she actually had the capacity to look like a normal human child ... except for the tail. that had to be surgically removed.

ever since that fateful april day, our home has never had more than 2 hours of peace and quiet except on the days she goes for music camp. but we miss her when she goes, because then there's nobody to fetch our water, or chocolate bar, or bake lemonade and squeeze dough for muffins (that started out unintentional btw, but i was too lazy to correct it).

o how enjoyable are the moments we spend together, doing interpretive dance at the dinner table, laughing during mass, emptying the entire content of your wardrobe and laying it very neatly on your bed (under the doona) as a welcome-back gesture ... ah ... good times.

so HAPPY BIRTHDAY little big sister. welcome to the years of angst, acne and acute embarrassment at every shenanigan your family gets up to.

oh! and finally, a haiku:

O hairy child of
Simian roots, we remember
Today, your finding

marie was looking for velvet shorts on ebay (don't ask) and came up with this [visit link]
liiiiiiiiiiiike wtf mate?

and while we're on the subject of wtf-mate, what is with the movie "in good company" ?!?!?!?! ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodnessssss ... the trailer looked ok. the premise being that older people with experience are being retrenched to make way for younger preppy pretty folk, all in the name of synergy and globalization etcetcetc. and then there's the goofy love story thrown in for good measure. but the ending ... [regurgitation]

won't spoil it for you, it's already quite vomitous ... but needless to say i have no sense of closure and it's worse than the lord of the rings ending. so there you go.

i'm off to make more velvet jokes on msn now, so see you guys soon.

* thanks to aerosmith for letting me "borrow" song lyrics

jokes with realistic endings.

some of them are rip-snortingly funny-haha.

in case you haven't already figured it out, you click on the text "jokes with realistic endings" and it will link you to the site.

so there was this conclave. kindof. and after much deliberation, it was decided (by ultratoxophilite and neonwaste and agreed to by me) that samuel l. jackson should be pope.

reasons can be found at cousin dar's site.

i've been called a tardy motherfucker by my rude cousin, so i'm posting this. and then i'm off to do my essay .. due thursday ! MWEEP !! i know not about fine arts ... except that it's wanky, and they love using obscure words like transcendentalism and visceral. which i've found out means "to do with the viscera". great dude. that's really useful *rolls eyes*

so anyhoo, go sammy !

two posts in one day?? omg !!

finished another pic today. i felt i neglected rupert and rosalind for too long, so here is ros ridding the world of one more cheenia piak chinaman (as evidenced by his ah pek slippers). i call it

death of a chinaman

original huh?

the first of the samurai bunnies is up !! thanks emiko for your help in writing my nom de plume. it doesn't sound cute or anything, but it looks quite nice on paper *beams* lalalaaaaaaaa i'm going for some not-much-needed but very much preferred r + r ..

seeya later fl芒neurators

there was only one silly thing i wanted to post today, but thanks to *CMPB (also known as Crude Men Picking Bottoms), bboj's enlistment date just extremely coincidentally falls on the day he's supposed to arrive here. so huzzah for me, i now have more shit to blog about. fan-f*cking-tastic.

now plans must be cancelled/re-shuffled/re-thought, to fit in my assignments and his arrival (if still possible), or maybe i could go to the motherland if the parentals are sympathetic. if i were a conspiracy theorist, or extremely cynical regarding a certain government, i'd go so far as to say that they deliberately gave him that date so he wouldn't abscond from NS.
but let's not even go there. let's just give them the benefit of the doubt that it's all a merry coincidence - that even though they did give permission to leave and swore on the graves of their ancestors that once he has an exit permit the enlistment letter won't arrive 'til after he returns - some sort of spiritual hand grabbed his name because it thought 10 june, 2005 was the perfect day for ben
to enter into national servitude.

*rasher*frasher*curse*swear* ..

enough about that though. i'm sure we'll be able to work somethign out ... i'm just a little sore at the unfortunate turn of events [insert fist-shaking]

*ROARS* !!!!!

right. now really i am over it. well not over it-over it. just not going to go into a tirade about the shittiness of it all.

this is what i intended to post at about noon today because linda and i found out (thanks to dr. bill taylor, theory lecturer and kevin spacey lookalike) that......

we are modern-day flaneurs! ok. so this may not exactly be blow-your-mind-away news, but let me indulge in a little archi-nerdiness.

flaneurs - flan as in "fruit flan", eur as in "fleur" - were prevalent in 19th century european cities, especially in paris. they were bourgeois figures who had craploads of time on their hands and spent their days idly wandering the arcades to see and be seen (seeing). in other words, they just wandered around and observed the urban spectacle (this spectacle being the behaviour of the lower class, such as the homeless, soldiers, street vendors &c). their interests were purely aesthetic, and they hung out with writers, actors, journalists and other "cultured" folk.

jump forward a couple of centuries, and you have girlies such as ourselves with a fair amount of time on our hands (ok, maybe myself more so than linda-tron), who just wander around the arcades in the city and/or the streets of subiaco and tadaa !! girlie-flaneurs!

we are intellectual and are functions of architectural philosophy. it's true, no point denying.

and that's pretty much all i wanted to say about today. so this is me taking a bow aaaaaand going off to do something constructive. like doodling.

turrah, babies!

* exciting shit huh?

soooo ... like ... we have more links here! i'm sometimes too lazy to update this blog, and sometimes i say really mundane things like "um...today i like...went to work and then like...i came home...and then like...we had chicken for dinner...and now i'm like...full". so as additional blogger-tainment that truly is hammer-tastic (non-capstardian, grammatically correct &c.) i introduce to you *drum roll pur-leeeeze*

drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................

mr brown, mr miyagi and cowboy caleb !

*clapclapclap*

*koff*

*awkward silence*

shiggity-shiggity-schwak, foo'! i be catchin' ya nextime i go downtown yo!

we have now, the links that are new, for the viewing, by you.

so go visit my high-flyin'-workin'-in-a-norman-foster-building cousin. and you will be wowed, amazed, awed even. then you will also learn to speak cantonese, channel your chi, and tell the difference between different grades of imitation LV (that's loo-wis vwee-tong, you pleb) merchandise.

and all you sticklers out there will notice that stoo is a "partner-in-crimes" ... now this is not because i don't know the rules of these hyphenated words-to-describe-links-between-people. it's just 'coz stoo is usually the only other accomplice in um ... youthful shenanigans that may or may not be slightly illegal.

what does one do when one is in perth, city of the dark ages? where does one find entertain oneself when shops are shut after 5 in the pee-em? find out more in this post, also known as ... the shenanigans of stoo and me

part I sees us embellishing t-shirts with our protest against people who feel they are metrosexual by wearing polo shirts with the collars turned up like so. (follow the link and go to page 2 of the summer 04 collection).

result:

part II sees us sitting at gelare - me with my hot fudge sundae, he with a way-ffels wif ice cleam - watching mc hammer dvd! in case you are like. totally uncool, this is mc hammer



he of the infamous hammer pants. fyi, they not only come in black but also in many other colours such as blue



and in case you're wondering what became of him after this period of shame, follow this link and find out!

we just sat there for the better part of an hour just mesmerized by his hammer pants teamed up with double breasted suits and shoulder pads, or hammer pants and leotard..it was amazing. and the dancing!! so violent!!

backtracking a bit, this is what we got up to one not-quite-drunken night in silly-pore:



isn't she kyoooooooooooooooooooot?? stoo reckons it looks like a sad little buggle. i know that it's a bit grammatically incorrect (it should read "horny as a goat IN heat", not horny as a goat ON heat", but stoo's grammar sucks. what can i say). anyway i'm sure the construction worker whom it belonged to (ameen or hashmeer or something like that) thought it was cute too! ok so we're terrible monstrous children, but meh. you only live once right? and it's already universally known that i'm a joker a loser and also, a bad influence whose main purpose in life is to get people killed.

anyhoo, it's bboj-time yo. checkya later! diggit!

how inconsiderate of me..it seems i have not fully explained the background story behind the sharlands. my sister has told this story before, but for the benefit of those of you who don't read her blog, here it is again:

the mysterious sharlands are the previous occupants of the house we now live in. althought we bought this house and have been living in it for nigh on four years now but we still get heaps of their mail. their traffic offences, bank statements &c &c.

most recently, a knock came on the door a few days after the local elections and someone said "excuse me, do the sharlands live here?" mother answered the door and said, "no. they were the previous occupants, we've been here four years". and the man looked really shocked. "oh!" cried he, "we were checking to see if they did live here because they tried to vote in this district, and insisted on doing so even after we told them that a different family was listed under their address".

so anyhoo, they were allowed to vote anyway to avoid a big fuss, but after confirming that they didn't live here, their votes were written off. they probably didn't expect that we'd get aussie citizenship, that's why they tried that odd stunt.

now speculations abound as to the whereabouts and activities of this mysterious family. they've got so many unanswered traffic fines that the letters turned into court summonses and we reckon they're on the run from the law or something.

who are they? what are they hiding from? do add your own theories on this tag-board !!

long and short of it is, that any mysterious folk are now potential sharlands.

where: bankwest, garden city branch
when: ~ 9.35am
number of unkempt sharlands: 3

at the bank today there were 3 rather odd individuals whom i think may be the sharlands. they looked a bit like drifters and they had the whole canvas-shopping-bag-on-a-trolley thing going for them. there was mr. sharland (allan i'm assuming), dressed head-to-toe in black target-esque tracksuit, and long unkempt hair to match his big unkempt beard. with him were auntie sharland #1 (wasn't his wife, she referred to him as "the boy with the cap"), and auntie sharland #2.

they were talking quite loudly with each other about weird things, and talking to each other from across the room also. and when auntie sharland #1 realized that auntie sharland #2 got the same bankteller as her, she said "oh! you got david too! he's lovely...only 22! that's so young, and he's single too!" poor david. i got him too. he was all right.

however, the weirdest conversation by far was the awkward one between auntie sharland #1 and a man who sat in the chair that auntie sharland #2 vacated.

[man sits down]
AS#1: morning
man: [a little confused] hmm? oh. morning.
AS#1: good isn't it
man: [a little more confused] huh?
AS#1: it's so good we don't have to stand in line anymore. just take a number. it's great.
man: oh. erm. yeah. very advanced.
AS#1: innovation, that's what it is. bankwest is innovation.

[awkward silence]

it really was a weird and loud conversation that terminated in a really weird and loud way.

so that was that...i just wanted to share my sharland experience with you all.

so like ... [awkward silence] bye now.

where: bankwest, garden city branch
when: ~ 9.35am
number of unkempt sharlands: 3

at the bank today there were 3 rather odd individuals whom i think may be the sharlands. they looked a bit like drifters and they had the whole canvas-shopping-bag-on-a-trolley thing going for them. there was mr. sharland (allan i'm assuming), dressed head-to-toe in black target-esque tracksuit, and long unkempt hair to match his big unkempt beard. with him were auntie sharland #1 (wasn't his wife, she referred to him as "the boy with the cap"), and auntie sharland #2.

they were talking quite loudly with each other about weird things, and talking to each other from across the room also. and when auntie sharland #1 realized that auntie sharland #2 got the same bankteller as her, she said "oh! you got david too! he's lovely...only 22! that's so young, and he's single too!" poor david. i got him too. he was all right.

however, the weirdest conversation by far was the awkward one between auntie sharland #1 and a man who sat in the chair that auntie sharland #2 vacated.

[man sits down]
AS#1: morning
man: [a little confused] hmm? oh. morning.
AS#1: good isn't it
man: [a little more confused] huh?
AS#1: it's so good we don't have to stand in line anymore. just take a number. it's great.
man: oh. erm. yeah. very advanced.
AS#1: innovation, that's what it is. bankwest is innovation.

[awkward silence]

it really was a weird and loud conversation that terminated in a really weird and loud way.

so that was that...i just wanted to share my sharland experience with you all.

so like ... [awkward silence] bye now.

on a lighter note...guess who's equal parts dior, chanel and diesel, baby!

does this mean i'm schizo?

You scored as Dior. Dior 92% Chanel 92% Diesel 92% Anna Sui 83% Abercrombie & Fitch 75% Burberry 67% Gucci 67% DKNY 33% Louis Vuitton 33% Tommy Hilfiger 25% What Designer Brand Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

so this may be a little belated, but the pope is dead and by now most of you should know this...unless you live in a cave in which case you may possibly be forgiven for being an ignoramus. and i'm sure all of you must have read copious amounts of tributes and specials in the newspapers about his life &c &c. this is not one of them.

my girlie reckons it's really not something to wail and moan about, but it is the end of an era. sure he was really conservative, with his stances on women not becoming priests and maintaining that priests should be celibate. but i feel it really is admirable that he tried to preach to the masses and that he had such strong convictions. and that he helped topple the soviet regime in poland and made peace with the Jews. and he appreciated
breakdancing, and he had his own bullet-proof popemobile (after a failed assassination attempt). so really, he was quite stylish. we both agree that he was a good guy, and he was friends with bono. so bonus points for both of them!!

in a way though, i'm quite relieved he died. he'd been sick for such a very long time, and it looked like he was in a lot of pain. not only that but i can't begin to imagine how frustrated he must have been at not being able to speak, or wave, or being so frail...at least he didn't suffer for too long. and he was still in control of his mental faculties when he passed on...not like in a completely debilitated state like some old people get. so that's a good thing right?

it's a shame though, my sister and gang won't be able to see him at world youth day in cologne later this year. ya ya i know there'll be a new pope, but it won't really be the same. this one was quite lovely. i wonder if the new pope will be as into youth catholicism as the previous one was. there was a list papal candidates and one of them was this african guy (scroll down to francis arinze). i reckon he could be jesus's homeboy. sure he's 72, but seeing how the average age of all the potentials is like semi-decrepit-to-fairly-near-death-state, he's close enough to qualify. the other ones sound a bit pompous.
.
.
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um .. i don't quite know how to end this off, but i think a python-esque quote could be appropriate. so...

"pie iesu domine, dona eis requiem"

foo'.

so another prison escapee is on the loose in wa again. this time, it's brian edwards, one of this fine region's longest-serving inmates. and it's squillionth escapee since forever.

he's "resourceful, unpredictable and extremely dangerous" folks, so don't get near if you know what's good for you.

this is edwards's 3rd time escaping from prison, and his 4th breakout from prison in wa in three weeks. what was he jailed for then? well he first got sent to jail for shooting a colleague, just to see what shooting a person felt like (if my memory serves me correctly). then he escaped in 1979 and stole a farm vehicle with a shotgun in it, and killed a couple having a picnic, after raping the girl. he did this because he "hates white people". so fair enough, he wanted to see what it felt like to shoot someone (they die, you know. sometimes) and then he hates white people (ok, they took your land. you've had your cry for years now, move on).
so this is why they decide to parole him, and send him to a minimum security prison. so he can be free to kill white people. however, tim connolly, wa director of regional prisons now concedes that "with the benefit of hindsight, that the prisoner was a higher security risk than was established at the time of the review."

oops. but it's ok. this is perth, city from the dark ages. nobody's out past 5 anyway 'coz all the bloody shops are shut. and in the country? even worse i imagine. but just in case brian edwards is wandering the streets in broad daylight, this is what he looks like...



some alternate looks here..



very stylish. and if he is struck by whimsy, he could even look like this..



one final note: he's an aboriginal, 170cm tall, of medium build with grey hair. oh my god !! that's like .. almost every other aboriginal person on the streets, or sleeping in elevators, or scuffling with the nyoongar police! is there anything more distinguishing than that?? why as a matter of fact, YES !! his right ring finger is missing and he has a scar on his right wrist. hopefully by the time you get close enough to notice the peculiarities of his hand, you're not being held hostage, or dead.

fuck dude, i dont really understand this place. australians would rather try to rehabilitate and baby-talk hardened criminals, but when it comes to 104-year-old chinese women who just want residency status in australia so they can spend their last years with their one remaining daughter, they decide that no old lady, you die alone in china. bwahahahahaha. i mean sure she's old and probably not of any use to society, but geez where's the compassion? she's only got one kid with a family of her own, they can't all up and go to a shithole in china to wait out the last few days/months/years of this old lady's life. i mean she's 104! she could cark it at any time so what's the big deal, dude? it's not going to affect the government or society either way, so why not just do the nice deed?

sometimes this country is too too strange.