stupid loser friend co-president, lynettoo dingo girlie-atrix* hits town on friday, 25 november 2005.



prepare your banners, people.

* these are all the names that stupid loser friend co-president, noelle naw-vew cantooie zoot girlie-tron** has given me over the years.

** these are the names i have given her. except for naw-vew. that one was bestowed upon her by our chinese teacher in primary 5. how you arrive at naw-vew from noelle is completely beyond us.

last night mum cooked chicken rice for dinner, singapore-hainanese style (because if you were actually from hainan you would never have heard of hainanese chicken rice). and as she is wont to do at dinner time, lynne (wyrd sister #3) decided to stick a piece of coriander in her rice and declared it "my island home".



how tasty would it be to actually live on an island made of chicken rice? with a big coriander tree in the middle of it and all the chicken you can eat. mmm fragranty goodness.

hey!! mixed language posts !! all right it works. yaaaaaay!! i can see it anyway, i don't know about you guys. like i said, maybe try changing your browser's encoding. go to tools > options > languages > encoding and select chinese-simplified.

something like that anyway.

everyone's saying how chinese is really important and china's so huge now blah blah blah i thought i'd better brush up my once-upon-a-time 'O' level B3/year 12 chinese advanced standards*. but i realize that not everyone reads mandarin, so there will be little translations at the bottom of each post.

bilingual wannabe girlie does not want to be branded as chinese elitist racist bugger. i am not ok! for a person who is always laughing at how chinese people love yellow gold and jade, this is a big step.

前进 前进 前进

onward onward onward

* admittedly though, these exams were mostly (barely) passed due to rote learning. my spoken chinese is still very angmoh sounding

i just visited this website, and the lady has posts in chinese and english, so i was wondering if i could do the same with my njstar freeware. testing !!

你们看得到汉字吗?

if you can't, maybe add languages to your browser settings?

also, because i thought by clicking "chinese simplified" in blogger, i could post in chinese (not that my chinese is any good btw. just trying), now my blogger interface is in simplified chinese. and i dunno how to change it back. i am feeling tres stupid.

Dance the night away by karchan85
Name
What you Look like
The Music	DDR
Quiz created with MemeGen!

lookit me! boppin' to the tunes of dancing machiney goodness

well here's a long post to make up for many days' silence:

two guys in singapore got charged with sedition recently because they'd posted racist comments on their blogs and forums. it was naughty of them to do so, but sedition! that's a bit of an overkill methinks. perhaps casting racial slurs on a blog would incite a blog war, but i fail to see how it's constitutes a crime against a state.

talk about a lopsided justice system. in australia you get nutjobs like jack van tongeren running about like hitler on crack, with his supposed followers fire-bombing chinese restaurants. and though the australian government basically told him that he could jump off a bridge for all they cared, he was never charged for sedition. and then there's pauline hanson, one-time purveyor of fish n chips, leader of the now-defunt one nation party. her party was anti-immigration! tut tut. where would all us fobs* be if she had succeeded??** [answer below]. but she's not langouring in prison, oh no .. she was for a time (on some minor technicality), but now she's very happy being a pin-up girl for middle-aged rednecks and prancing about on dancing with the stars (she's one of the stars by the way).

in the end those boys ended up posting bail and walking away shame-faced, but now their records are forever tainted and they can never work in Singapore again because nobody wants a racist fucker working in their company. i wonder if they will be on celebrity squares any time soon.

how funny that you can face possible jail time for typing something rude on the internet, despite the fact that in certain schools you get tutors and lecturers speaking in mandarin, even though there are other non-chinese students in the class who don���t speak the language and therefore won���t benefit from the gibberish they just heard. you wanna charge those guys with sedition too?

perhaps you can check out pranay gupte who worked for the straits times for awhile. he's an americanofindiandescent who was working as an expatriate and made observations on how even though he's educated and sought-after by high-flying publications, he was still treated like the bangladeshi worker who turns the stop-and-go sign at construction sites. eventually he got his work visa revoked because he tried to write an article on it that didn't make it past the editorial stage. why wasn't his editor charged with sedition either? he didn't actually overtly racist, but somewhere between reading the article and gupte getting fired, something must have happened right? what if gupte was so angry he phoned home (america, not india) and said "goddamn singaporeans blahblahblah", and whoever he called got angry too and called india, and india got angry and bombed singapore? they have nuclear weapons you know ?! and who would have brought that truckload of shit down on singapore? his editor. so maybe they should have nipped the potential problem in the bud and charged him. that oughtta learn 'im real good right?

maybe singapore is afraid of racism because it's so ingrained in society and even though people try to pretend it doesn't exist, it still rears its ugly head.just because you ace a civics and moral education exam doesn't mean you believe in the answers you give. maybe samy, ahmad, meiling and jane should rethink their national education methods.

* fob = fresh off the boat = people like me laaah. quit from singapore/indonesia/insert asian country here.

** answer: up shit creek without a paddle that's where.

still nothing exciting going on, so allow me to point you to tragicblogs.

a word of warning though, these guys crit other peoples' blogs and are pretty bitchy so maybe don't go if you're easily offended.

bboj's become a national manservant and nothing much has been happening at all, hence the lack of posts.

in the absence of entertainment here, there's links a-plenty to the right. also, if you'd like a spot on the committee of BUCKS, let me know.

last night at work, there was this bunch of asian students who were the last to leave the shop before we closed up for the night. and because it was so silent in waffletown, i managed to eavesdrop a bit and realized that this one guy, presumably the cell group leader, was talking about how God has a plan for all of us, and he died on the cross 2000 years ago, not for us to fuck it all up and go to hell*, but so that we would have a 2nd chance at redemption etcetc. then, just before they left, they gave this booklet to parsa entitled "this was your life".

this publication is from the same people who brought us the same gems that were handed out at o-day this year. the gist of these booklets is:

a) even if you are a good person, if you don't embrace God you will go to hell.
b) going trick or treating means you are a pagan, and therefore will go to hell ... unless you embrace God before you die
c) all muslims are the tools of the devil. and therefore they are going to burn in hell for all eternity

on the other hand, if you praise and worship and thank God for everything all the time**, you will go to heaven. also, if you condemn/denounce muslims and everyone who is not in JC's posse, you will most definitely go to heaven. amenpraisethelordhallelujah.

and on and on in the same vein, making sweeping statements and generally trying to start the crusades again. that kinda thing. not terribly christian at all.

so anyhoo, this made me remember the time that stu and i were talking about new fangled churches, with their "non-denominational" evangelisation of God's word. we were marvelling at the number of people they managed to convert, how they can afford to build new church that bears more than a passing resemblance to the guggenheim (new york, not bilbao), and would survive a nuclear holocaust because it's clad in titanium. also, we were incredulous at how they managed to raise a gazillion dollars to build that church.

and then we thought, how difficult could it possibly be to come up with our own denomination of non-denominational christianity, converting as many people as we can (but mostly the rich ones, hopefully) to our own brand of christianity? answer: not to hard. so we came up with a basic scheme of what we could do:

loosely based on catholicism (let's call it catholicism-lite), we'd be called the Bestest United Church of the King and Saviour - or BUCKS - and with such a prosperous name, hopefully we'd rake in the dosh. i'd be high priestess/head pastor/whatever (since i was the one who came up with the idea), my stupid loser girlie friend would be the grand chancellor, and my partner-in-many-crimes stoo would be the head of the security ministry, also be known as the k枚mmiss盲r. we'd all have tastefully designed robes and sceptres, but the k枚mmiss盲r would have a tazer at the end of his sceptre so that any hecklers we may encounter would be miraculously "slain" by the spirit.

we'd come up with plausible interpretations of the bible, and combine doctrines from other churches and make a happy hybrid for our own, preach free will and welcome everybody who wishes to join us. any questions outside of our comfort zone would be answered with "Such is the mystery and awesome power of God". we would have tithing machines (like the reverse of an atm), and look like we're offering people the best time of their life by joining us. our services will be like massive rock concerts, with appropriate pauses for spotlight-shining-down-like-a-stairway-to-heaven moments, to adequately overwhelm our audience wtih emotions. the word "awesome" would be used a lot so that we give the impression of being contemporary and with it.

and then we'd build a church and clad it in leather. that way we'd always smell of opulence (it's the riches from heaven! He has showered his blessings upon us!), and we'd raise funds by getting some b-list celebrity to be on our pastoral council, and marketing the album that he/she released.

and checkout our fancy crest:


for the Lord said, "take up your cross and follow me".

how easy it would be to sell this religion to people who equate giving more money with receiving more blessings? and who doesn't love the instant gratification of an awesome feel-good church?

yes, we would do all this if we weren't so certain that on judgement day, we'd be the goats (as opposed to sheep), and cast out to the fiery place where there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

* liberties taken with actual phrasing

** because all the time God is good, God is good all the time

kinda busy rushing studio things. normal posting will resume after today. or maybe over the weekend