the tale of ropey(lein)

so there was a little bit of an outcry re: the moongchi post from moongchi, and uncle raleigh asked if the tale of ropey would be told. therefore to appease them both and to prove that the name-calling shenanigans go both ways, i will now tell you how moongchi decided to give me a shitty nickname of my own and started calling me ROPEY. that's right, ROPEY.

let me explain moongchi's thought process, and the tenuous mental connections she made in order to come up with this gem.

step 1: take an existing nickname - in this case "nette" - which is what my family calls me.
step 2: play a word association game. when she thinks "net", she thinks "rope", because nets are made of rope.
step 3: add a 'y' to that. et voila!

right now you're probably looking a bit like this ("" =____=''') . but in moongs' own words, "it doesn't matter how it came about, the point is it stuck*. and if dj (the boyf) can call me moongchi, then i can call you whatever lame thing i want. in this case, ropey. okay?"

okay.

* how stuck is stuck? mutual friends and even my own cousin call me ropey. there moongs. happy?!

merry magical mystical moongchi is coming to town

"what a horrible name", you'll be thinking. "who is moongchi and how the hell did that come about?!"

well, allow me to show you exhibit a:

during one of the many clean-up operations of marie's room, a piece of treasure was unearthed.

"hey marie," dingo called out, her eyes shining with wonder.
"yes?" replied marie in a most distracted manner.
"are you my good friend?"
"yes i am. wherefore do you ask such questions?" marie answered, in slight bewilderment.
"well then, are you my good friend .." and here dingo paused for dramatic effect, "MOONGCHI?"

and at this, marie was speechless. and before she could say more, it had been decided. from that moment forth, my good friend was moongchi! so named, for her moronic korean pencilcase.

so anyway the point of this is that my good friend moongchi is coming to sydney, so let the trees of the hills clap their hands.

inspired by daytime children's shows, zoot and i have decided to make our own children's television programme:

with auntie zoot and auntie dingo

i composed the first two lines of our first song this morning, in a semi-crimping style. it's called "ooh, a shoe!" sung by a street urchin and it goes like this

"ooh, a shoe!

but i need two!"

which stoo expanded to

"ooh, a shoe!
but i need two!

i'm a street urchin
clearly he's poor
so hungry
poor people are genetically inferior
i'm eating the shoe
sucks wet laces for liquid
it's made of leather
a poor persons' steak
oh i am ill
oh he is ill
i need some comfort
here's some pocket lint
a friendly face please
i have one but it's only the skin
TAKE ME TO CASTLE ANTHRAX!"

basically it'll teach children that wearing shoes can prevent ringworm. gallion magdalion will be the resident super hero, and he will be the one who eventually finds another shoe for the urchin and drops it from the sky in a heroic manner.

our other regular visitor will be uncle raleigh [stoo]. his segment will be about the harsh realities of growing into a non-child. he proposes to show children "how adults lord their age, height and wisdom over you but still do stupid things like leave floaters in the toilet. it will convince them that they will never understand until later, when it will be with heart-rending nostalgia, that these are the best and happiest times of their lives; free from complication, commitment, responsibility and the obligation to always be fully clothed"

i think it will be a smash hit!

oh. and to aggravate your monday blues, it's a honky tonk badonkadonk

[castle anthrax, 4pm]
dingo: you know that nasal delivery technology billboard? they've censored it.
zoot: oh.
dingo: they've literally censored it. like this:

zoot: that is the stupidest thing i've ever seen.

so let's play fill-in-the-blank! what could that word under the big CENSORED sticker be?