two bits of news:
1. besides lacking in TVmobile (thank ye gods), and having massive windshields, and lacking in the periscope thing from which you can stare down at the busdriver's balding pate, the new swanky sbs buses have another new feature. security cameras!. that's right. a nice ominous-looking half-orb set into the ceiling at the front of the bus saying "don't you dare misbehave you pathetic little minions ... big brother is watching you ..."
i can just imagine the official line endorsing these cameras: security cameras add a new level of security to commuters on our public buses. between 20XX and 20XY, there were XXX such cases of women having their modesty outraged, or violence on the bus, and the offenders were not prosecuted because nobody was willing to step forward. etcetc.
oh deary me. where will all those poor secondary school couples make out now?
2. there has been an upgrade in the toilet paper on our floor, from 1-ply to 2. a 100% increase in ply! women on the 31st floor are rejoicing.
using 1-ply feels like you're wiping your bum with sandpaper. it's very uncomfortable and you don't really feel clean after. with this toilet paper upgrade, i think morale on our floor will be higher. bums will be less irritated, which makes sitting down more comfortable, which leads to a happier day at work, which should (theoretically) lead to better productivity!
it's like a case of a butterfly flapping its wings in mongolia causing a typhoon in guadalupe. or something like that.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
two bits of news:
1. besides lacking in TVmobile (thank ye gods), and having massive windshields, and lacking in the periscope thing from which you can stare down at the busdriver's balding pate, the new swanky sbs buses have another new feature. security cameras!. that's right. a nice ominous-looking half-orb set into the ceiling at the front of the bus saying "don't you dare misbehave you pathetic little minions ... big brother is watching you ..."
i can just imagine the official line endorsing these cameras: security cameras add a new level of security to commuters on our public buses. between 20XX and 20XY, there were XXX such cases of women having their modesty outraged, or violence on the bus, and the offenders were not prosecuted because nobody was willing to step forward. etcetc.
oh deary me. where will all those poor secondary school couples make out now?
2. there has been an upgrade in the toilet paper on our floor, from 1-ply to 2. a 100% increase in ply! women on the 31st floor are rejoicing.
using 1-ply feels like you're wiping your bum with sandpaper. it's very uncomfortable and you don't really feel clean after. with this toilet paper upgrade, i think morale on our floor will be higher. bums will be less irritated, which makes sitting down more comfortable, which leads to a happier day at work, which should (theoretically) lead to better productivity!
it's like a case of a butterfly flapping its wings in mongolia causing a typhoon in guadalupe. or something like that.
1. besides lacking in TVmobile (thank ye gods), and having massive windshields, and lacking in the periscope thing from which you can stare down at the busdriver's balding pate, the new swanky sbs buses have another new feature. security cameras!. that's right. a nice ominous-looking half-orb set into the ceiling at the front of the bus saying "don't you dare misbehave you pathetic little minions ... big brother is watching you ..."
i can just imagine the official line endorsing these cameras: security cameras add a new level of security to commuters on our public buses. between 20XX and 20XY, there were XXX such cases of women having their modesty outraged, or violence on the bus, and the offenders were not prosecuted because nobody was willing to step forward. etcetc.
oh deary me. where will all those poor secondary school couples make out now?
2. there has been an upgrade in the toilet paper on our floor, from 1-ply to 2. a 100% increase in ply! women on the 31st floor are rejoicing.
using 1-ply feels like you're wiping your bum with sandpaper. it's very uncomfortable and you don't really feel clean after. with this toilet paper upgrade, i think morale on our floor will be higher. bums will be less irritated, which makes sitting down more comfortable, which leads to a happier day at work, which should (theoretically) lead to better productivity!
it's like a case of a butterfly flapping its wings in mongolia causing a typhoon in guadalupe. or something like that.
i've been putting my 2 megapixel cameraphone/phonecamera to good use since coming to singapore. i share with you!
imagine joining their loyalty program[link]! you'd be forced to sing a capella for your discounts
if you don't get it, think of it this way ..
"auntie ah! whats your favourite kah-rer ah?"
"purpur lor !!"
and finally ...
i don't even know how to begin to explain this one. wikipedia it! but when i told stoo about it, he replied "if it cost $69 it would be gold!"
imagine joining their loyalty program[link]! you'd be forced to sing a capella for your discounts
if you don't get it, think of it this way ..
"auntie ah! whats your favourite kah-rer ah?"
"purpur lor !!"
and finally ...
i don't even know how to begin to explain this one. wikipedia it! but when i told stoo about it, he replied "if it cost $69 it would be gold!"
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
disclaimer: i guess you could classify the following post as potentially offensive. or maybe that's just if you're hyper-sensitive! anyway, i think a disclaimer is best.
last week on tv mobile, there was this national education advert playing, telling morning commuters what the recipe for a singaporean was.
something like a cup of compassion, a scoop of warmth, a dollop of lurf and a whole lotta diversity. you shake them all together and out pops a singaporean. between this and that bloody just for laughs gag show, it's really enough to make a girl want to hurl herself out of a moving bus. and anyway, what about the half-cup not-my-problem, mixed with half-cup of what's-your-problem? and the generous fistfuls of kiasu-ness? is this ad kitsch or what?! at least they used the term "diversity" instead of "multiculturalism".
"multicultural" is such a wanky word.
anyhoo, i'm going to harp on this diversity thing for a bit, so indulge me!
because hor, diverse is what singapore truly is! all these different races/religions/cultures co-existing on one tiny island blahblahblah. but "diverse" - to me - has very positive connotations, and this i feel glosses over the fact that thinly-veiled and ingrained racism still exists. yes! that taboohushhush R-word!
it's not really a kkk lynch-mob thing, really it's more like a "malay/indian people are so dirty/smelly" kind of thing that old women tell their grandchildren, simply because they have darker skin. or how some people think chinese people smell of pork, implication being that we are unclean i suppose. someone verify this? but then again i suppose it can't be helped because bak chor mee is so tasty =P
i think this is beginning to sound nit-picky, but i think it's very simple and just has to be said. anybody who has bad personal hygiene will smell bad.
just take public transport! on the 196 in the morning there's sometimes a young chinese security guard who smells spectacularly funky, and his hair is so glossy i wouldn't be surprised if it's literally slicked down with spit. on a larger scale, take the train in the evenings, and you will have the fresh roast aroma of the white-collar crew who've been stewing in recycled office air all day. they are fantastically pungent too.
i could go on, but i won't.
my point is, being pheremonious isn't confined to a particular ethnic group, it affects people from all walks of life* as long as they neglect their deodorizers, soap, shower gel, eau de toilette and scented mists. it seems a really small thing but i think it says quite a lot about racial harmony.
welcome to multicultural and diverse singapore: where everybody thinks everybody else stinks! literally!
* a few years ago, i remember hearing/seeing this phrase literally everywhere. it doesn't seem to popular now. singapore mass media is a big fan of catch-phrases such as these.
edit : i just saw that stupid ad again today, and i don't know how i could have missed this out! but anyway it's a whole bunch of animated kacang puteh and at the very end it says "singapore, a mixture of kacang puteh nuts. a mixture of hearts!"
last week on tv mobile, there was this national education advert playing, telling morning commuters what the recipe for a singaporean was.
something like a cup of compassion, a scoop of warmth, a dollop of lurf and a whole lotta diversity. you shake them all together and out pops a singaporean. between this and that bloody just for laughs gag show, it's really enough to make a girl want to hurl herself out of a moving bus. and anyway, what about the half-cup not-my-problem, mixed with half-cup of what's-your-problem? and the generous fistfuls of kiasu-ness? is this ad kitsch or what?! at least they used the term "diversity" instead of "multiculturalism".
"multicultural" is such a wanky word.
anyhoo, i'm going to harp on this diversity thing for a bit, so indulge me!
because hor, diverse is what singapore truly is! all these different races/religions/cultures co-existing on one tiny island blahblahblah. but "diverse" - to me - has very positive connotations, and this i feel glosses over the fact that thinly-veiled and ingrained racism still exists. yes! that taboohushhush R-word!
it's not really a kkk lynch-mob thing, really it's more like a "malay/indian people are so dirty/smelly" kind of thing that old women tell their grandchildren, simply because they have darker skin. or how some people think chinese people smell of pork, implication being that we are unclean i suppose. someone verify this? but then again i suppose it can't be helped because bak chor mee is so tasty =P
i think this is beginning to sound nit-picky, but i think it's very simple and just has to be said. anybody who has bad personal hygiene will smell bad.
just take public transport! on the 196 in the morning there's sometimes a young chinese security guard who smells spectacularly funky, and his hair is so glossy i wouldn't be surprised if it's literally slicked down with spit. on a larger scale, take the train in the evenings, and you will have the fresh roast aroma of the white-collar crew who've been stewing in recycled office air all day. they are fantastically pungent too.
i could go on, but i won't.
my point is, being pheremonious isn't confined to a particular ethnic group, it affects people from all walks of life* as long as they neglect their deodorizers, soap, shower gel, eau de toilette and scented mists. it seems a really small thing but i think it says quite a lot about racial harmony.
welcome to multicultural and diverse singapore: where everybody thinks everybody else stinks! literally!
* a few years ago, i remember hearing/seeing this phrase literally everywhere. it doesn't seem to popular now. singapore mass media is a big fan of catch-phrases such as these.
edit : i just saw that stupid ad again today, and i don't know how i could have missed this out! but anyway it's a whole bunch of animated kacang puteh and at the very end it says "singapore, a mixture of kacang puteh nuts. a mixture of hearts!"
Friday, March 23, 2007
ever since derelyn told me about this fish-shaped mp3 player from toshiba i reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally want one! look how cute it is! i think it looks more like a seal but whatever. flippers! so cute! and it's got a usb thingy in his bum! she swears that 8days (hurhur, she reads 8days) said that it's retailing at "all leading distributors" but so far best and challenger have been totally useless.
does anybody know where to fiiiind it?
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